NA #31 St Anthony's Fire

St Anthony's Fire by Mark Gatiss

In Brief: A war-torn planet inhabited by lizard-people holds a terrible secret.

Don't they all?

Meanwhile, Ace finds God (or an approximation thereof). Then stuff blows up.

I'm glad that after the recent run of sub-par books (and by sub-par I mean "written by chimps at a typewriter") at least Mark Gatiss knows how to manage a decent prose-style. While St Anthony's Fire has problems (as in it's not really that good) at least it has decent prose, actual dramatic tension, and most importantly a plot. After the meandering messes I've have to endure since at least Theatre of War (5 or so books back) I was just happy to feel like I was reading a proper novel again and not feel like I was reading the weekend-work that a random Doctor Who fan decided to submit to the publishers (Strange England, this means you).

However if this sounds like damning with faint praise it is. While the style of the book kept me reading and interested again Gatiss just can't seem to manage to put together a story that satisfyingly hangs together. While entertaining everything seems to just be a lot of running around until The Doctor wires something together at the end to defeat the big baddie (in this case a giant planet-sized blob of goo). Also a few normal Gatiss issues rear their heads (familiar to anyone who has seen the stories he's written for the show since 2005).

Waaaaay back in the mists of time, while reading his novel Nightshade I found that Gatiss seems to have an issue with female characters. The problem is that he can't seem to write them as anything other than useless moaners and he likes to make them suffer. St Anthony's Fire continues the trend but is actually worse in that other than Benny and Ace there are *no* female characters present. Amazingly Benny seems to fare well (although she does get tied up a lot more than usual) Ace is pretty much absent from most of the book (due to being kidnapped by an intergalactic group of religious zealots who wipe her memory). The rest of the characters are either butch soldiers or campy priests.

Even once Ace is back to "normal" she's at her most subdued since coming back as "New" Ace, although considering what a disaster that version of the character has turned out to be it actually turns out to be a blessing. It's the first time in a long time that the character has even slightly come close to what we saw on TV during the late 1980s.

As for the plot, it combines a Planet of the WWII lizard-men with an invading force of broad religious-satire. I suspect that Gatiss was forced to go to one too many Catholic-masses as a child and here wants to get his revenge. Large portions of the book are given over to describing the activities of the Intergalactic Chapter of St Anthony who roam the galaxy destroying and burning all non-believers (so basically everyone). I think we also get a bit of a look into some of the darker recesses of the author's mind as with a great deal of description of the Chapter's leader Magna Yong and his muscular body, skimpy skin-tight clothing and beautiful Asian features with flowing black hair. Not to mention his taste for tiger-bone tea, telephones made from the remains of gorillas and love of relaxation through skewering kittens.

But Gatiss' issues aside the book isn't too bad and is a good quick read. After the slogs of the past few New Adventures (in particular the painful First Frontier) this was a welcome change. But I still feel like the series has been in a bit of a rut for a while and in need of a shake-up. Thankfully I know one is coming soon (hint: New Ace is finally going bye-bye).

It's also notable how this book is definitely not suitable for the under-15s (what with the in-depth descriptions of torture and all) which shows how Doctor Who in the 90s was really seen as a "cult" enterprise. I'm so glad that since coming back in 2005 the franchise has been aimed at a family audience (as in to be watched by all ages) again rather than keeping just to the Star Trek/Buffy demographic (aka geeky losers). It would never have been a success otherwise.